Purge

It's taken two hookups, cheating on my prom date and numerous other worldly and immoral actions for me to come to this point in my faith. It's been two years since I got saved (right around that) and it has been a roller coaster. Some amazing highs and lows and alot of flat ground but now I find myself lower than I have ever been. I praise God that my eyes have been opened to my broken and lowly position because, that I can finally see. Slowly, once baseball had started I quickly found less and less time to read the word and when I was in the word it was either rushed or at a late hour of the night. I did not, put every effort I could into reading and slowly my obedience started to slip. This is known to happen in my own faith walk where my heart becomes deceived and I walk in the flesh for a short while, but normally quick to repent. This time, I found myself unable to truly repent and falling victim to the same sins over and over. What was different was that I was now rooted to the world through relationships, whether it was my prom date or a number of girls I had been texting where I had no kept righteousness as my top priority. All these things, commitments to the world tied me down, so even when I tried to repent (and did repent, not just tried) I was quickly being pulled right back down. Now, I have recently tried to remove as many flirtatious relationships or ungodly conversations from my life as possible. I've come to a cross roads on one, who happens to be my best friend who is a girl, but Gods word has been extremely clear to me especially in Ephesians 5:3-7, that I cannot partner (aka relationship, "thing") with someone who does not know Christ. It is turning out to be tremendously hard to end this in a way that both glorify a Christ (getting me away from sexual immorality) and keeps that close friendship we have had for almost 10 years. I know that I most likely cannot have both and deep down inside I know that earthly relationships leave people empty. My prayer is that Christ would supply me the courage to end this lustful add on to our friendship, that I would care less about how she reacts and more that the shackles of sin had been broken. This last step to the purge has been extremely hard and is testing my faith to the maximum. Gods word in James 1:21 says that the word has the power to save. So as I find myself here at this cross roads on this purge for Christ, I pray that the word might be my utmost goal, that I might find Christs power and Holy Spirit in His words.